The above graphic should settle all arguments, both religious and scientific, as to who among us sits at the top of the evolutionary model in man’s March of Progress.
This pictographic document has long been known by members of the KKK, the ARYAN BROTHERHOOD, the NAZI PARTY, and the Education and Propaganda Departments of both CHINA and JAPAN, who have been at each others throats for centuries, each claiming to be the SUPREME RACE.
Unfortunately, these barbaric tribes and nations could only agree on one thing : TO SUPPRESS THE ABOVE CHART AT ALL COSTS. Therefore, the peoples of the world were left with an incomplete picture of the Evolution of Man, which erroneously showed HOMO SAPIENS to be the crowing achievement of our evolutionary progress.
The discovery of this long-lost chart has now rendered all such arguments completely moot.
Found on a T-SHIRT in an Okinawa Souvenir Shop, the discovery of this here-to-fore unknown graphic has spurred evolutionary scientists to re-examined the DNA evidence, resulting in the surprise confirmation that the UCHINANCHU (Okinawans) do indeed form a new level of evolution that makes the normal Homo Sapiens seem like Neanderthals in comparison.
Scientists speculate that the upward evolutionary break from the homo sapiens came as a natural response to the negative environmental pressures of having to put up with both the US Military and Japanese occupation of their advanced Island Civilization.
While the lowly Homo Sapiens are known for being adept at inventing lots of things and making war, the more advanced UCHINANCHU life forms are known for not letting things bother them, getting along with everyone, drinking a powerful rice whiskey called Awamori, and singing and dancing he night away whenever they get the chance. They also seem to make a lot of babies in the process.
The Okinawans have invented many festivals and holidays as an excuse to indulge in these pastimes, and, as further proof of their separation from the lower forms around them, live longer, healthier, and happier lives than the CHINESE, JAPANESE, and US MILITARY they have to deal with on a daily basis.
On the other hand, the Okinawans also work a lot harder than the barbaric tribes mentioned above. And they work WAY harder than certain Officials of the US State Department who come here masquerading as so-called "Diplomats" — especially a former director of the US State Department’s Office of Japan Affairs (and former US Consul General in Okinawa) whose extremely LAZY approach to learning and understanding history is not unlike that of a corpse trying to learn what life is all about.
In a scientific endorsement of the "ONE DROP RULE", it has also been discovered that if you can find even one drop of OKINAWAN BLOOD in your ancestral tree, your future prodigy has the best chance of making the world a better place.
Otherwise, like poor Okinawa Soba (that’s me), you are doomed to a future that is controlled and directed by Homo Sapien idiots and nincompoops.
The above information is completely true, and is supplied as both a service and a warning to all mankind. For further information on this new evolutionary discovery, please consult my still-unwritten book, THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT OKINAWA, complied from notes I forgot to keep while under the influence of 120-Proof Awamori.
NOTE ON THE GRAPHIC : This "HUMAN EVOLUTION" graphic is by local artist and designer YUSATAKA HANASHIRO of the Okinawa City Tourist Bureau, and reproduced here with his permission. Tasked with coming up with a T-SHIRT and POSTER idea for the 2011 EISA FESTIVAL, he decided on a parody / spoof of the famous "March of Progress" illustration by RUDOLF ZALLINGER (1919-1995) that first appeared in the 1965 Time-Life book, Early Man.
Needless to say, it got a lot of approval from the local Okinawans, who — after living with American and Japanese occupiers for the past 60 — know that the funny parody is a lot closer to the truth than most people realize !
♥ THE ORIGINAL : en.wikipedia.org/wiki/March_of_Progress
♥ SIMILAR 1992 PARODY ALONG THE SAME LINES : en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Encino_Man
♥ EVOLUTION OF JAPANESE FOOTBALL / SOCCER : rlv.zcache.com/evolution_of_japanese_football_soccer_play…
♥ PURPOSE OF THE UCHINAA POSTER : EISA DANCERS and the ESIA FESTIVAL : en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eisa_%28dance%29
OTHER PARODIES OVER ON PHOTOBUCKET NOT ENDORSED BY OKINAWA SOBA : i198.photobucket.com/albums/aa133/EpicKira/evolution.png
RANDOM SOBA : www.flickriver.com/photos/24443965@N08/sets/